May 6, 2016
Well, God has been helping my understanding some more lately. But then, every so often, things are going along fine and then things don’t add up to zero. When i think i begin to understand, something comes up that i don’t understand. Sometimes understanding leads to more questions. I mentioned before that over time my prayers have changed slightly here and there. NOw i begin to appreciate the Lord’s Prayer, in which we pray “Thy will be done”. As an example, God reminded me that if i work for let’s say a corporation as a peon, then i wouldn’t go to work on Monday morning and go to the CEOs office and go in there and tell the CEO “OK, here’s what we should do with those guys in the finance department, and this needs to be done in the shipping department, and i want these changes made in these other departments”. No, we don’t do that. Why? Because we’re peons, it’s not our job to do all that other stuff. What we generally do instead, is we go to work and we tell our boss “Whatever you want done, just let me know, and i’ll put it on my list” or “let me know and i will get it done”. So likewise, it’s kind of similar when we pray to God. An example i have is that sometimes i will pray to God and give God thanks for helping me live bravely, and i pray that i will also die bravely. But then, i always say, “but whatever your will is, God”. And i begin to see that the best way to pray is not to ask for what we want done, but what God wants done. And it’s good to remember that sometimes our boss at work will ask us to do some things that are minor inconveniences to us. So now i learn that the best way to pray is to give Thanks to God for all that i have, and to say the Lord’s Prayer, Thy will be done, and dedicate myself, everything that i have, to God and carrying out God’s will, whatever it is. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t spend time in prayer as well, but it’s good for me to remember my priorities.
That all makes good sense to me and i can easily understand. But sometimes going along, it’s like i’m solving a large math equation, and i think i’m doing every calculation right, but at the end, i get the wrong answer. Then i have to start all over, and try to find out where i am making my mistakes at. Because things aren’t adding up.
I thought about the big pill industry that i talked about before, where they try to get everyone to take all these chemicals. To maximize their drug industry profits, first they need to turn Americans into pill junkies, then they can push their dope on us freely. In fact, they could pass a law requiring everyone in the US to get health insurance, so that every American can buy their dope pills, with insurance money. That will make them rich. Plus, they own the insurance companies, so they will make more trillions. And if Americans don’t buy their dope pills with their insurance money, the government dope pushers will throw those people in jail. Because if you don’t pay health insurance, you are going to owe a lot of money to the IRS. And if you don’t pay the IRS, they will come to your house and take everything you own, and throw you on the street, because they don’t care about you. They only care about money.
Now i thought, what in thee world is going to happen if Donald gets elected president! Will the first thing he do is say to everyone who is Mexican who works in the White House to “Get all these rapists out of here! We don’t want these rapists working in the white house! Don’t you know, we’re trying to make America great again? Now round up all these Mexicans and execute them, because they are all rapists!” Then Donald might say he only wants white people in the white house, and he might even have big KKK parties there. I don’t understand. This guy is obviously one sick )*&%^$$$##, and yet Americans can not even see how hateful and evil he is. Hmmm. It seems like people have been deceived into believing a lie.
LIke i was saying, some things i don’t understand, and when things don’t add up, then i try to figure out why. Sometimes my fundamental beliefs have to change to keep up with my understanding. Now understanding things is great, and it’s easier when i just suddenly understand something. Other times i have to think and think, and i have to ask God for help to understand sometimes. But other times it is difficult, and there are still things that i don’t understand. But i am very careful when i question God about understanding things, because i don’t want to offend God out of my own misunderstanding and ignorance. I pray for forgiveness for trying to understand things sometimes, because i recall Scripture teaches us to “believe”, not to “understand”. Belief is required, understanding is not. However, if there is something that i don’t understand, i am seldom satisified to just accept it on faith, but i sincerely want to understand. So i question things, and i ask God questions, and God made me to understand not to worry. God made me think of a small baby who is angry at his parents, and in his little tantrum the baby might say “i hate you!” to his parents. But his parents know he is just a little baby, and they know he really doesn’t mean it, and of course they don’t hate their little baby, either. They aren’t even offended by it, because he is just a little baby who is tired and needs to take a nap.
When i try to understand God, or about God, i have to always remember that God is pure goodness, and in Him there is no sin found at all. This helps keep me on the right track when i am questioning things about God. So of course as little children we have the right to ask God anything we want to know. I don’t think we should ask for selfish things, but only unselfish things. God will reward us, if we don’t ask for rewards. But i always try to be as respectful as i can when i question God about understanding. I usually understand things quite clearly. But sometimes things come up that i don’t understand at all, and that don’t fit in with what i already think i understand. Such as this Scripture about the war in Heaven, and how Satan was cast down to EArth.
Revelation Chapter 12
7 And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, 8 And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. 9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. 10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. 11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. 12 Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.
Now this just doesn’t make sense to me. Satan had an uprising in Heaven and with 33 percent of the angels he made war and lost. What did the angels do with Satan? They cast him onto the Earth? They cast Satan into the baby nursery, where all God’s children were happily living? What? Now suddenly, through no fault of their own, God’s children will be lost to hell, because Satan was casted onto the EArth and there is nothing God can do about it, because God is a helpless victim? What? If that was the case, then we would all be in serious jeopardy! These things don’t make sense to me.
But then i remember Scripture asks us to believe, not understand. However, understanding is not a selfish thing to ask for. And if i have better understanding, then that increases my faith. Having more faith helps me to believe. So i should ask for more understanding, and increase belief. Because how can God’s babies be condemned to hell because Satan was cast into their nursery and caused them all to sin? It’s not their fault Satan was cast into their baby nursery! They are innoncent little babies, until that happened. Why wasn’t Satan cast onto the moon, or Mars, or the Pleadies, or something like that? That just doesn’t make sense to me so i have to ask for even more understanding. God is a helpless victim? I can’t go for that either! What? God, the most powerful force in the universe is helpless to protect His children? I have to ask for more understanding, because i know God wants us to understand, not to be confused. Because confusion does not lead to increased belief. People obviously can’t believe in things they don’t understand.
Also i mentioned that i dedicate my life and everything i have to God and carrying out God’s will, whatever it is. And that will never change. I may ask God a lot of questions and need help understanding things, but no matter what the answers are, or what God asks of me, i will never stop being dedicated to God. So asking for help understanding does not reduce my dedication to God, it increases it. The important thing, that God always asks me, is am i trying to do my best? That is what God always wants to know from me. And so i keep trying harder everyday. Then when God asks me, i can always say “Yes” and not have any doubts about it at all. This is very helpful for peace of mind. I am very small and weak, and i have a lot of misunderstanding, so i pray and ask for help for these things.