January 31. 2014
Hooray , the rain is back! Yay. Except, now everything is getting muddy and dirty. And i even found my first snow of the winter. Well, maybe in a few days it will clear up. I did see the stars the last couple of nights. Oddly enough, it was raining, and yet, when i looked up at the sky, i could see some stars. Pretty brightly for a few moments. It’s kind of funny to be in pouring rain, and look up and see the Major Sheepgate. But it’s rainbow season. I saw two rainbows in two days.
I was feeling kind of wondering if i have been doing the right thing the past few days. For a few months, i have known that i can’t really live in this world, without becoming ‘dirty’. It’s kind of like living on a planet made of dirt. When you are living on the planet, you can’t help but get dirty. Living in a world full of sin is somewhat similar. It’s hard to stay clean when you feel you are surrounded by, and wallowing in filth.
Which, that reminds me of a story about Bre’er Rabbit and the tar baby. Getting into arguments with satan lovers and evil people is kind of like satan put a tar baby in the road. And instead of leaving it alone, like we should, sometimes we might get tangled up with the tar baby. And i think those are the worst kinds of mistakes to make- when we don’t follow our own advice we give others.
Yes, so i have known for some time that i can’t really live in this world very well. When you go in the dirt hole, you’re going to get dirty. Well, i don’t know what , but i think it’s difficult to live in this world and not become defiled by it. For example, i don’t feel i can watch tv, listen to music, listen to the radio, listen to people talk on the media, without beoming subject to satans dirt and filth. I don’t feel i can have money in the bank, because while i’m sleeping, they may take it out, use it to pay for abortions, then put it back in. Or use my money to fund israeli genocide of the palestinians, and all the other people israel and the usa kill for fun around the world. Then, of course, the insurance companies take my money, and my car is noisy and pollution, so i find it difficult to understand how i can live here without stepping in satans poop that he leaves all over the place that so many people in this world wallow in. So i decided a few months ago, i can’t really live here, without becoming defiled by this world somewhat. So i don’t plan on it. However, i do not belong to any church, I belong to Jesus. So i do what ever Jesus, and Heavenly Mother and Heavenly FAther want me to do. So i don’t care about what happens to me, as long as i stay True to God, and as close to God as i can. So i planned on not having bank accounts, not driving, by slowly extricating myself from all these things, and all the agreements i have entered into in this world. God is concerned with me fulfilling agreements i have made, and God helps me at times remember to do certain things, or not to do certain things, in order that i fulfill, or don’t default on agreements i have made. And God also helps me to complete them, so i can get out from under the agreements. And God also reminds me not to enter into any new agreements. Because, my word is very important.
Well, that’s all great. I am glad to have a pathway out of the corruption of this world, and i am very thankful for God’s help, in all things. God has blessed me so tremendously. I am glad to be informed of these things that God finds important, and to have help. Very much so. It’s all great and wonderful. As long as my Hearing works good, and as long as i am keeping my self true to God and close as i can. Now this is all great and wonderful as well. I remember back in June, God , our Earth Mother was with me every day , for weeks on end. It was very wonderful, i could always feel Her close to me. When i was not feeling happy, i could feel Her gently touvhing my rib. Later on, like in November, i think, i also felt someone else touvhing my rib. I think it was Jesus, or Heavenly Father. I could just tell it felt different than when Earth Mother touched me. The past couple months though, I know God is my constant companion. However, it’s not the same as June, when i could hear Her clearly, and sense her constantly. Now is different. I have to listen carefully. I have to pay close attention. I have to See God in different ways, and read Signs more now. It was a lot easier before to know that God is right beside me. So now, then, it becomes harder for me to sense God, and to know if i am doing the right thing. And if ever it gets quiet, i worry sometimes if i have done something wrong, and lost my connection completely. So i pray and maintain myself as close to God as i can.
So, i haven’t been planning on renting a house, getting a new job, putting lots of money in the bank, watching tv, all those sorts of things at all. In fact, i have been planning on the opposite, because i don’t want any of those things. I don’t want to touvh antything that will defile me from God. So, i have just been on vacation, spending my savings and waiting to hear what God wants me to do next. Well, then it gets a little quiet, and the savings start to get lower, and i started to wonder, am i doing the right thing? Because, well, i kind of feel like Jesus says in the Bible, if you want to be complete, get rid of everything thing you own, give it to the poor and follow Me. So that’s what i was planning on. But, i was thinking, if i just lay down, and don’t move, and don’t do anything to help myself, i would commit suicide just the same as if i climbed up a big mountain so i could jump off a cliff. So i was thinking, God, i hope i’m doing the right thing, because all my stuff is gone. All i have left is my truck, my tools and my laptop and camera left. And if i sell those things and get rid of everything, i don’t know how that would be helping me fulfill my purpose. Not only that, if i just lay down and die, that doesn’t give God any Glory at all. So i prayed, and i told God, well, i hope i’m hearing ok, because i’m just about out of things to sell, and then i’m not going to be much good for anything. And that’s fine by me, but i’m hoping to get some confirmation in case i’m not Hearing properly or something. Because i only want to do what God wants me to do. Thats all. I don’t mind at all. I will sell everything i own and get rid of everything so i can follow God and stay as close and as clean as i can. But, when i sell the truck, well, that’s also my shelter, and so my life expectancy is going to go down, and i hope i’m doing the right thing. So i didn’t hear God tell me to do anything different. So i started planning on which to sell first, the tools, the laptop, or the truck. Then i thought, man , it’s going to be rough, because i am not equipped to live out in the rain. And i’m going to get wet, and have to become a trespasser just to try and find a place to live. So, i thought my best option is to try and find a good place and fashion myself a teepee out of tarps. They are really dry. So i began to fashion a plan. And i prayed to God, to hopefully make sure i’m doing the right thing, because i wasn’t sure.
Then, on the morning of January 30, God spoke to me, in a fashion. God said to me, in essence, if i want to get a job, then a good job for me, the only job i feel i would even want to do, is the sheepherding job i saw on the employment division. So, God doesn’t want me to just lie down and die. God said if i want to, then i can get a job helping take care of some baby animals, just like i prayed for when i was little. And so i understood, i could get a sheepherding job, and then i won’t have to live in the city, or drive, or have car insurance, or a phone, bank account or anything that i don’t want. So i was very happy instantly and God said since i’m down to my last savings, that i could go to the Tribe and ask social services for assistance to get a sheepherding job. Well, i did, briefly, and a prerequisite to get help from social services is to show my status at the employment department. So i went to print that out, and i found out i have unemployment income available. So, then i realized, i don’t need help from social services. Other than their advice to check the employment division. That made me realize i can get my unemployment started, i can look for sheepherding work locally, and take care of my taxes and other business, then in a few weeks find a sheepherding job out of state, if i can’t find one locally. So i was prepared to become completely homeless and on foot and try to live in a teepee, if that’s what God wanted me to do. But at the last minute, God gave me a different plan. So, i’m very happy and i’m glad God is always taking care of me. I try not to ever worry. Because, God has been taking care of me for 53 years, and never let me down. And God will never stop taking care of me.
So now i have a new plan. Depending on everything working out, which it seems to be, so far. I would like to have a animal caretaking job, far from the city. Now that i have been camping for over a month, i can really notice the smell of cigarettes, and also i am more sensitive to car smoke. Which in certain places, there really is a lot of car smoke, and people breathe a lot of it.
I noticed, when i am camping out, and move from here to there, the Ravens always find me. No matter where i go, they come and fly over me daily. They seem to be keeping an eye on me. I can’t hide from them. I thought about how God knows each of us, in such great detail. God says that every hair on our heads is numbered, so that makes me realize that God knows us all, in very great detail. The Ravens, i usually see them either one, or two, and sometimes i will see maybe 5-7 all together. Some small birds, i notice, flock together as a social group. While other birds i notice, such as Blue Herons, i always see those birds by themselves. Very rarely have i ever seen two herons together.
And now, for the advice for the day – today i have two bits of advice. First, if you have an aluminum canopy, never hook a bungee cord onto the edge of the roof of the canopy. If you do, it may damage the seal on the roof, and cause the roof of the canopy to leak. And secondly, when you are going up a steep hill, and it’s a steep climb, and the traction isn’t very good – keep going. Don’t slow down, or you may lose your traction and your momentum and you might not be able to make it to the top of the hill. So when the going gets rough, don’t slow down, keep on going a little harder.