March 8, 2014
Well after thinking, i decided since it wasn’t as easy for me to be nice and kind at all times, that i would pray for help to be kinder. So i did, and am trying to be nice to everyone. Then i understood, that if a person is trying as hard as they can, but they feel it may not be good enough, and they keep trying harder, well then, they might be making some progress. That doesn’t mean we should stop trying harder. It means that we should keep trying harder.
One of the things i recently came to realize is that i sometimes learn things and receive understanding, from my own writing. For example, the other day i wrote down that i had been learning about the fear of God recently. And i wrote down what i had learned. But i didn’t learn that, until i wrote it down, then read what i wrote. Then i said, now i have been learning about the fear of God. Funny how that is sometimes. It’s very amazing. I had been thinking about the fear of God actually, but differently. A few weeks ago i wrote that i wasn’t feeling well, and i had been praying a lot. And basically i had been kind of hoping God would tell me that there was no chance that i could fail, and that i was guaranteed to go to Heaven, no matter what i do here on Earth the rest of my life. However, there is no such deal, and i had to come to grips with that reality. I can accept it easily now, but for some reason it was a point of some sort of contention for me for a while.
The other day i talked to a young coworker and he basically scoffed at the idea that there is a God. He seemed to have it all figured out that some people just like to believe in God for no reason. I thought to myself, how funny. Here is a kid, twenty years old, lived in Toledo Oregon all his life, and he thinks he knows all about the world, and all about God and everything. But then i thought, if he doesn’t believe in God, who does he think he is? Does he think he is just some sort of talking meat robot that just went and got a job at Chevron? Does he think he is just some parasite that developed legs and grew up to walk around? Some creature that just came into existence out of nothing? Funny what he must think. And i thought about that, and tried to think of an example. And then i realized, Life really is kind of like a video game. And some people, who may be first time players, think there is only one Level to Life. And they think this is the only level there is. But they don’t realize, there are more levels. Also, many people don’t understand or follow the Rules. And that’s a big problem. Because, if you don’t play by the Rules, once you get past this level, if you cheated, then you are Disqualified, and can’t advance. Game Over. And that’s the way it is with any game, or anything we do. We have to follow the Rules. Otherwise, it would be like trying to play Chess with a 3 year old kid, with a candy chess set. Some people just can’t or won’t follow the Rules, and some people think this is the only Level there is. But it’s a rookie mistake.
Life kind of reminds me of a class assignment i had back in 5th grade. The teacher handed us an assignment to do, and so we were given so much time to complete it. It was like a written test and there was no talking allowed. So i quickly took the assignment, and it was like 50 questions. So i didn’t want to waste much time and started quickly. I read through it quickly, then began one by one completing each of the 50 questions. And it was a funny test. Because some of the ‘questions’ we had were to do things such as count out loud, from 20 backwards. And stand up, turn in a circle, then sit back down. And it was funny that way. Well i rushed through it, and then i got to the last question. And the last question said, The first paragraph of the assignment says that before you do anything, to read all the way through the assignment first. Well, i skipped that part. But the last paragraph said, now that you read the whole assignment first, as instructed, now, on the last question, it said to don’t do anything, except to turn the test over and wait for the class to finish. I failed it miserably, because i didn’t follow the rule in the first paragraph. Only a couple kids in our class got it right. Most of us skipped over the rules and just did as we pleased. That’s the problem when people don’t follow God’s Rules. They just start making up their own rules, and doing whatever they want to do, whether it is good or bad.
Well i have been observing people some more, and i have discovered that there seems to be something really wrong with some folks. In the first two weeks at the gas station, i saw two people tried to drive off with the gas hose still in their tank. What were the people thinking? I don’t know. Also, i caught one guy helping himself to some gas, when i was busy and he thought i wouldn’t notice him helping himself to some free gas. And then, he tried to say that he only got 8 dollars of gas, when he actually received 32 dollars. Then, i saw one guy come in and say Fill it up for cash. Then, when it was full, he looked in his pockets, and he didn’t have enough money to pay the 39 dollars he owed. He started to say, Why don’t i leave . . . and i cut him off and said No, you can ‘t leave here with that gas until you pay for it. And if you can’t pay for it, we’ll call the police and let them sort it out. He had to call somebody to bring him the money to pay. His friend looked at me and said Hey, i’m sorry! and i told him it doesn’t matter to me. I just need 39 dollars. And it doesn’t matter to me. He had to sit in the lot for an hour waiting. Then another guy locked his keys in his car in the gas station and had to wait an hour for a tow truck in the rain, then he had to wait another hour because the tow truck guy couldn’t unlock his car. And people do funny things, also. THey think we have a store at our gas station. And sometimes when they find out we don’t, they get angry. Now why would you get angry about that? Some people get angry and yell and cuss. One dumb kid came up to me and i asked him if i could help him. He said You got anything in your store? and i said We don’t have a store. And he got angry. And he was down like a clown, with his starter cap on, and he must have weighed about 80 pounds, and he got angry because i said we don’t have a store, and he said Quit looking at me like that, he kept repeating it and said if i keep looking at him he’s going to knock me out. I doubt that, but i told him just leave, get out of here you dummy. But he was sure angry and he wanted to knock me out because there is no store. People seem to have something wrong with them at times. I see them racing in the street, speeding, swerving, honking, just about crashing. Why? I don’t know. I’m just trying to be nice and help people. But today i think a lot of people had a grouchy baby day. Because a lot of people were acting like grouchy little babies for some reason. One lady flipped out when she looked at her receipt, and she didn’t get 20 cent safeway credit. The reason was, she gave an invalid number. And then she said she had 20cents because she just left safeway ten minutes ago. Well, that is also part of the problem, because the rules are, you have to wait about 4 hours from the time you leave safeway until your credits show up at the gas station. But she was so angry and never coming here again! that i couldn’t even explain it to her, even though i tried. And other people, they think they can just go up to the gas pumps and start pumping their own gas. Because they do that back in Michigan, or where ever they are from. However, these people wouldn’t go up to safeway and say The line is busy, i’ll just go up to this register and check out my own groceries and pay for it by myself. I don’t need a grocery checker. But thats what they do at the gas station. Just help themselves. Because they don’t realize, the gas pump is a big cash register, and i’m responsible for all the money that goes through it, and all the gas. And if people mess it up and make me short, i have to pay it out of my own check. And if i have too many shortages, i can get fired and lose my job. So i just wish people would understand, don’t go around getting into other people’s cash registers and tills, and gas pumps. But many people don’t even care, they just think they can do whatever they want. And then they wonder why somebody comes up and gets after them.
But, i try to help as many people as i can. They drive through the gas station with their trunks wide open, and don’t even know it. They do a lot of funny things. You really have to watch out around people in their cars, because they are dangerous. They forget to put it in park, they speed and generally aren’t careful enough at times.
So no matter what people do, i try to be nice to them and help them. But i can only go so far, and if people act insane, well, i can’t really help them.
No matter what they do, it doesn’t affect what i do. Which is to be as nice as i can and try to follow God’s Laws as best as i can. It’s not always that easy though. It makes me think of a new Theory. The Theory of De-evolution, and how man turned into animals.
It seems most of the people with the anger problems are too scared to actually do anything. People try to intimidate others, try to act tough, hide behind guns, and do all kinds of cowardly actions toward others. But i have noticed, these cowards who act big and act tough, and talk big, thats all they seem to do. Because none of them seem to have the nuts to actually do anything. Except act big.
And that’s because the reason is, they are just big cowards.